It turns out that people at the event last night had better things to do than judge my footwear. Yesterday's panic was all for nothing. Last night was fun.
When attending these types of things, I believe you are supposed to pretend to be too cool for school and act like it is perfectly natural that you are in a room full of movie stars. While at the movie viewing portion of the evening, I attempted to adhere to this etiquette, but the only action I could think of to feign nonchalance was to eat my popcorn. My plan sort of worked. I'd see Samuel L. Jackson, my mouth would open in surprise, I'd fill it with popcorn, then chew. And then suddenly I'm all, "Samuel WhoInTheWhatNow?" By the time I'd nearly plowed through my tub, it dawned on me that if I kept this up I'd never be discovered by some important director. Unless he happened to gaze across the room, see me, and gasp, "Who is that captivating young woman methodically shoving handfuls of popcorn into her fat face?"
So when I got to the party, I abandoned this whole principle and made it a point to stare at celebrities. Or, if possible, hover near them. Or, when they were less impressive, to point them out to my friend and without lowering my voice, say something like, "Hey, that guy next to us was on Heroes."
I didn't get home until about 2am, and thus went to bed about 6 hours after my usual loser bedtime. And so today I am exhausted, and I believe perhaps technically asleep right now, so I'll stop writing now.