On Saturday, I woke up early, eager to tackle a number of household chores before setting off to meet Shannon for lunch and then to (eek!) go to my dentist appointment. As I walked from my bedroom to the living room, I was overcome by the irresistible urge to nestle into the couch and bury myself under a blanket.
The living room also seemed darker than usual. And the floor felt cold on my bare feet.
"Wait a second..." I narrowed my eyes and made my way over to the front door. I flung it open, took a few steps outside, and a cold breeze hit my face. The sky was overcast. The air was chilly.
For the first time since March, we were getting a solid dose of perfect cozy snuggle weather.
Sadly, I had miles to go before I snugged. So I got dressed for the day ahead, but allowed myself one early-autumn indulgence: the wool scarf.
Ah, I love a good scarf. They make any outfit look infinitely cuter and more stylish. And in southern California, where it never gets too cold, scarves are the perfect way to get dressed up for wintry warmth, while still wearing a light jacket and ballet flats.
As I drove to Beverly Hills to meet my friend for lunch, I was admittedly a bit too toasty in my wool scarf. And it started to itch. But I refused to take it off. So, at red lights, I squirmed. And panted a little. And put my window down to get some fresh air on my flushed face.
It sounds stupid that I was putting myself through this for a stupid scarf, but you don't understand. It's been so effing hot for months! And I grew up in a very cold and cloudy land far far away from here. I am not used to such heat. I need scarves! And gloves! And adorable winter hats!
By the time I'd finished lunch and, later, the worst dentist appointment in history (this just in: my teeth are rotting out of my face), I hadn't had enough of the cool temps. So, still numbed up and fussy from the drilling and cleaning, I wandered around the streets of Beverly Hills, window shopping. Finally, at 5pm, I realized the shoppers and tourists were all going home, and so I walked back to my car and made the drive home as well.
Today it is 84 degrees and sunny. Oh well...
Monday, October 6, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
More About Camping- Now, With Pictures
Hi hi.
So, as promised, here are some pictures from our "camping" trip to Big Bear last weekend.
I drove up on Friday night with Devin, my sister Katie, and Seamus the dog. Devin drove, while I spent the whole time trying to find one acceptable station on Sirius Radio and Katie fought for space in the back seat with Seamus. Also, she and I were car sick. I think this blurry picture helps convey the car sickness. We had to wind our way all the way to the tippy top of a mountain, where the air was cool and thin.
We'd left work early to hit the road at about 4:45. Our friend Ryan, who spearheaded this whole adventure, was supposed to have gone up to the cabin early in the day to get the keys out of the lockbox and get everything ready for everyone else.
When we arrived at the cabin, we were alarmed to discover that it was very dark. It appeared no one was home. Immediately, I called Ryan.
"Hi..."
"Hey Bri"
"Where are you?"
"I'm almost there...I got, er, delayed."
And so we set about finding the lockbox and attempting to open up the cabin. This doesn't sound hard...but there was no light anywhere, except for one porch light around the corner.
Once inside, we were surprised to find that it was quite homey. We settled in, unpacked the bottles of wine, and made a cheese plate. Over the next hour, everyone else showed up in groups of 2 or 3. We were all very cozy, and pretty tipsy.
Note Devin in the back, left, with whiskey bottled resting on his chest.
I got in a cooking mood and whipped up some linguini with clam sauce. Here I am with the pasta, and Julie with her vodka & cranberry.
Don't be concerned about that strange man on the other side of the glass door. We weren't being stalked. That's just our friend Tomas.
Later that night, we all crammed into the hot tub. We managed to displace about half the water in the tub, sending it cascading over the edge and soaking the deck.
Note Devin still holding whiskey bottle.
The next day, after spending about 3 hours making a giant breakfast for everyone, and then 2 minutes eating said breakfast, we drove down to the lake to rent a pontoon boat.
Because it was Ryan's birthday, and because no one else had driven a boat before, he was the captain.
It looks like it's all fun and games in this picture, but he was very bossy and drove us into choppy waters. We'd all severely underestimated how cold it would be on the lake. And with Ryan speeding around like a mad man, we were all chilled to the bone by the strong winds.
Eventually, we found an arbitrary place to stop the boat and attempt to fish.
Seamus, while nervous at the start of the trip, eventually grew to enjoy boating.
My sister and I are not into fishing, so we enjoyed coronas and used our new Big Bear beer cozies. (I'm on the left, btw.)
In fact, there wasn't much for the ladies to do while the men exchanged horrible ideas about how to improve their odds of getting a big fish. So, we had more beers.
Later on, we found our way into a nice cove, where we dropped anchor and decided to fish some more. This is where everything went wrong. The rope of the anchor got tangled up with the rope of a buoy. It seems like this combo would have made us doubly secure, but in fact the boat drifted into shore, dragging the buoy with it. While everyone at the anchor end of the boat was busy figuring out how to untangle everything, those of us on the opposite end of the boat couldn't help but notice we were rapidly drifting into shore. And, more importantly, toward a private dock with a very nice and expensive looking wooden boat.
"Hey guys... guys...we need to do something about this."
We drifted closer, and closer. Meanwhile, Mike had jumped into the lake to untangle the anchor.
"Guys...seriously. We're going to hit that boat."
As we neared the dock, Julie (the smallest person on the whole boat), jumped onto the dock, held onto a post, and used all of her strength to keep the boat from going any further.
It was simultaneously hilarious and scary. Also, I'm pretty sure we were damaging some property...and that's never a good thing.
Eventually, we freed the anchor, pulled Julie back into the boat and sped off.
That night, everyone was pretty pooped after a day of adventure at sea. But before we all passed out, we celebrated Ryan's birthday with some really brightly frosted cupcakes.
So, as promised, here are some pictures from our "camping" trip to Big Bear last weekend.
I drove up on Friday night with Devin, my sister Katie, and Seamus the dog. Devin drove, while I spent the whole time trying to find one acceptable station on Sirius Radio and Katie fought for space in the back seat with Seamus. Also, she and I were car sick. I think this blurry picture helps convey the car sickness. We had to wind our way all the way to the tippy top of a mountain, where the air was cool and thin.
We'd left work early to hit the road at about 4:45. Our friend Ryan, who spearheaded this whole adventure, was supposed to have gone up to the cabin early in the day to get the keys out of the lockbox and get everything ready for everyone else.
When we arrived at the cabin, we were alarmed to discover that it was very dark. It appeared no one was home. Immediately, I called Ryan.
"Hi..."
"Hey Bri"
"Where are you?"
"I'm almost there...I got, er, delayed."
And so we set about finding the lockbox and attempting to open up the cabin. This doesn't sound hard...but there was no light anywhere, except for one porch light around the corner.
Once inside, we were surprised to find that it was quite homey. We settled in, unpacked the bottles of wine, and made a cheese plate. Over the next hour, everyone else showed up in groups of 2 or 3. We were all very cozy, and pretty tipsy.
Note Devin in the back, left, with whiskey bottled resting on his chest.
I got in a cooking mood and whipped up some linguini with clam sauce. Here I am with the pasta, and Julie with her vodka & cranberry.
Don't be concerned about that strange man on the other side of the glass door. We weren't being stalked. That's just our friend Tomas.
Later that night, we all crammed into the hot tub. We managed to displace about half the water in the tub, sending it cascading over the edge and soaking the deck.
Note Devin still holding whiskey bottle.
The next day, after spending about 3 hours making a giant breakfast for everyone, and then 2 minutes eating said breakfast, we drove down to the lake to rent a pontoon boat.
Because it was Ryan's birthday, and because no one else had driven a boat before, he was the captain.
It looks like it's all fun and games in this picture, but he was very bossy and drove us into choppy waters. We'd all severely underestimated how cold it would be on the lake. And with Ryan speeding around like a mad man, we were all chilled to the bone by the strong winds.
Eventually, we found an arbitrary place to stop the boat and attempt to fish.
Seamus, while nervous at the start of the trip, eventually grew to enjoy boating.
My sister and I are not into fishing, so we enjoyed coronas and used our new Big Bear beer cozies. (I'm on the left, btw.)
In fact, there wasn't much for the ladies to do while the men exchanged horrible ideas about how to improve their odds of getting a big fish. So, we had more beers.
Later on, we found our way into a nice cove, where we dropped anchor and decided to fish some more. This is where everything went wrong. The rope of the anchor got tangled up with the rope of a buoy. It seems like this combo would have made us doubly secure, but in fact the boat drifted into shore, dragging the buoy with it. While everyone at the anchor end of the boat was busy figuring out how to untangle everything, those of us on the opposite end of the boat couldn't help but notice we were rapidly drifting into shore. And, more importantly, toward a private dock with a very nice and expensive looking wooden boat.
"Hey guys... guys...we need to do something about this."
We drifted closer, and closer. Meanwhile, Mike had jumped into the lake to untangle the anchor.
"Guys...seriously. We're going to hit that boat."
As we neared the dock, Julie (the smallest person on the whole boat), jumped onto the dock, held onto a post, and used all of her strength to keep the boat from going any further.
It was simultaneously hilarious and scary. Also, I'm pretty sure we were damaging some property...and that's never a good thing.
Eventually, we freed the anchor, pulled Julie back into the boat and sped off.
That night, everyone was pretty pooped after a day of adventure at sea. But before we all passed out, we celebrated Ryan's birthday with some really brightly frosted cupcakes.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
The Hills Recap: The Cheese Stands Alone
I have to say that I was intrigued and delighted when I read the title of this week's episode of The Hills.
"When Lauren's Away."
Refreshing, isn't it? Let's say that again. "When Lauren's Away." Take a deep breath. The air is cool, crisp. Like after the first winter's snowfall.
Inside you feel mischievous, like when your boss is away on vacation. There's so much potential for joy, but you know you're supposed to be your same, solemn self.
"When Lauren's Away..." Ah, it's a sentence I can't wait to finish.
So where is Lauren? She's off to Italy, for reasons unspecified. I'm sure it's either a well deserved vacation or a hard earned opportunity.
Audrina: So are you excited for your trip?
Lauren: Not especially. I mean, it's just Italy, you know?
Audrina: I guess...
And while Lo and Audrina assure Lauren that the two of them won't fight while she's gone (or, at least they won't draw blood), poor Audrina doesn't look so convinced.
"When Lauren's Away...Lo shaves off Audrina's hair while she's sleeping."
Later that day, once Lauren's long gone, Stephanie drops by the house, unannounced. She rings the front buzzer, startling Audrina, who is idling chopping vegetables in the kitchen.
Audrina: Um...hello?
Stephanie: Hey slut, whats up?
Audrina: Who is this?
Stephanie: Stephanie.
Audrina: Who?
Stephanie: Lauren's friend.
Audrina: Oh...
Stephanie: Can I come in?
Audrina: Lauren's not home.
Stephanie: Yeah I know.
Audrina: Okay. Well she won't be home for a long time. She's in Italy.
Stephanie: I know.
Audrina: I don't know how else to put this...go away?
Stephanie: I wanted to talk to you.
Audrina: I see.
Stephanie waits a moment for the sound of the front door buzzer. There is only silence. Still, she makes an attempt to open the front gate. It's still locked. So, she rings the buzzer again.
Audrina: Hello?
Stephanie: It's still locked.
Audrina: I'm aware.
Stephanie: Audrina, please just let me in. Come on, people are starting to notice me standing out here. It's embarrassing.
Stephanie can hear the sound of Audrina sighing heavily through the speaker. Then, a buzzer.
As Stephanie enters, Audrina tries to put on a happy face.
Audrina: So...hi. You look nice. You know, nice for you.
Stephanie: Oh thanks. Sorry to drop in on you like this. I hope I'm not interrupting.
Audrina: Well, a little. I was just making a salad.
Stephanie: Were you gonna eat it or something?
Audrina: Not really...Ok, you got me, I have nothing but free time. What's going on?
Stephanie: I need your advice. This guy asked me out and I don't know if I should go on a date with him.
Audrina: You should. I mean, you have no other options.
Stephanie: You don't even know anything about him.
Audrina: Who is he?
Stephanie: Doug.
Audrina: Lauren's Doug?
Stephanie: Yeah.
Audrina: Then no, don't go out with him.
Stephanie: I knew it was a bad idea. Lauren would be pissed huh?
Audrina: Ha! Shyeah. But also, Doug's lips are the same color as his face...which is the same color as his hair. The whole thing's just weird.
Stephanie: That's an interesting point...
The room is quiet. Audrina continues chopping vegetables while Stephanie shifts around in her chair.
Audrina: Seems like we're done here so...
Stephanie: Oh, right. Bye.
"When Lauren's away...someone takes her place and no one really notices."
Meanwhile, at SBE, Heidi stops by coworker Kim's desk for some inane chit chat.
Heidi: You working on that event?
Kim: Yeah. I'm looking at skate ramps now.
Heidi: This is my favorite.
Kim: I know, right?
Heidi: I think I'm going to bring Spencer.
Kim: Awesome.
"When Lauren's away...the bullshitting continues."
Attempting to forge ahead with their new pretend friendship, Audrina and Lo meet for lunch.
Lo: I really miss Lauren.
Audrina: You do?
Lo: You don't? Hmmm. I'm sure she'll be interested to hear that.
Audrina: Oh please don't. We're supposed to be rekindling our friendship right now. La-aaaame.
Lo: You don't deserve her kindness and...and warmth...and guest house.
Audrina: You think I'm bad, you should hear what Stephanie's up to.
Lo: That bitch! I'll kill her.
Audrina: She's going on a date with Doug.
Lo: Doug? Doug Doug?
Audrina: That very Doug.
Lo: That bitch! I'll kill her!
Audrina: You mentioned that.
"When Lauren's away...lunch dates become 35% more awkward."
That night, having learned nothing from their earlier outing, Audrina and Lo get all dolled up to go to the club. Once there, they nestle into a booth and begin rhythmically stabbing their straws around in their cocktails. Silence follows. And then, thank heavens, the evening's entertainment arrives in the form of Heidi and Spencer.
Heidi: Wow, hi guys!
Audrina: Hiiiii!
Lo clears throat, fusses with sagging tube top.
Heidi: I never though I'd see you guys here! I mean, I had hoped. I mean...I sort of thought you might be here. And I thought hey maybe if I just get dressed and go to Goa, I might just happen to run into some friends. And I've been trying that all week but finally...it worked! Crazy! Now I won't have to spend another night at home sitting through Spencer's made up card tricks or watching him reorganize his DVDs from most to least kickass. Hahahahahahaha. Who's talking a lot? I AM! It's like I'm nuts but I'm not. I'm SO happy. SO in love.
Audrina: Um...that's...
Spencer: Hey, Lo! Something about Lauren.
Lo: What? What about her?
Spencer: Something, I don't know.
Lo: You can't just say "something," dipshit.
Spencer: Whatevs sketchface, I'm tired. Heidi, can we go home now? Play a little Wii tennis?
Heidi:(shaking violently) NO GOD DAMN IT! Ahem. So, Audrina. Any gossip?
Audrina: Did you hear Stephanie's going out with Doug?
"When Lauren's away...Heidi will play."
Later, we find ourselves at the X-Games party that Kim and Heidi planned. Audrina and Justin drop by to hang out. Spencer entertains them all with the witty dinner convo he's been practicing for days.
Spencer: You guys see Batman?
Justin: Yeah.
Spencer: So good. The joker...so good.
Justin: Uh-huh.
Audrina and Heidi start a little side conversation where they discuss the two things they have left to discuss at this point. Item 1: What's up with Stephanie? Item 2: We used to be such good friends. In the beginning. It was always us going out. It was so fun. We should be friends, etc.
While these good times are going down, Stephanie and Doug are out on their infamous date that Audrina won't shut her yap about.
Stephanie:You look nice. Your lips are really shiny.
Doug: Oh yeah. It's natural.
Stephanie: Well thanks for bringing me out.
Doug: Sure thing, babetard. After Lauren ditched me I was like, "I'll be damned if I'm getting kicked off The Hills." You know?
Stephanie: What?
Doug: You look pretty.
"When Lauren's Away."
Refreshing, isn't it? Let's say that again. "When Lauren's Away." Take a deep breath. The air is cool, crisp. Like after the first winter's snowfall.
Inside you feel mischievous, like when your boss is away on vacation. There's so much potential for joy, but you know you're supposed to be your same, solemn self.
"When Lauren's Away..." Ah, it's a sentence I can't wait to finish.
So where is Lauren? She's off to Italy, for reasons unspecified. I'm sure it's either a well deserved vacation or a hard earned opportunity.
Audrina: So are you excited for your trip?
Lauren: Not especially. I mean, it's just Italy, you know?
Audrina: I guess...
And while Lo and Audrina assure Lauren that the two of them won't fight while she's gone (or, at least they won't draw blood), poor Audrina doesn't look so convinced.
"When Lauren's Away...Lo shaves off Audrina's hair while she's sleeping."
Later that day, once Lauren's long gone, Stephanie drops by the house, unannounced. She rings the front buzzer, startling Audrina, who is idling chopping vegetables in the kitchen.
Audrina: Um...hello?
Stephanie: Hey slut, whats up?
Audrina: Who is this?
Stephanie: Stephanie.
Audrina: Who?
Stephanie: Lauren's friend.
Audrina: Oh...
Stephanie: Can I come in?
Audrina: Lauren's not home.
Stephanie: Yeah I know.
Audrina: Okay. Well she won't be home for a long time. She's in Italy.
Stephanie: I know.
Audrina: I don't know how else to put this...go away?
Stephanie: I wanted to talk to you.
Audrina: I see.
Stephanie waits a moment for the sound of the front door buzzer. There is only silence. Still, she makes an attempt to open the front gate. It's still locked. So, she rings the buzzer again.
Audrina: Hello?
Stephanie: It's still locked.
Audrina: I'm aware.
Stephanie: Audrina, please just let me in. Come on, people are starting to notice me standing out here. It's embarrassing.
Stephanie can hear the sound of Audrina sighing heavily through the speaker. Then, a buzzer.
As Stephanie enters, Audrina tries to put on a happy face.
Audrina: So...hi. You look nice. You know, nice for you.
Stephanie: Oh thanks. Sorry to drop in on you like this. I hope I'm not interrupting.
Audrina: Well, a little. I was just making a salad.
Stephanie: Were you gonna eat it or something?
Audrina: Not really...Ok, you got me, I have nothing but free time. What's going on?
Stephanie: I need your advice. This guy asked me out and I don't know if I should go on a date with him.
Audrina: You should. I mean, you have no other options.
Stephanie: You don't even know anything about him.
Audrina: Who is he?
Stephanie: Doug.
Audrina: Lauren's Doug?
Stephanie: Yeah.
Audrina: Then no, don't go out with him.
Stephanie: I knew it was a bad idea. Lauren would be pissed huh?
Audrina: Ha! Shyeah. But also, Doug's lips are the same color as his face...which is the same color as his hair. The whole thing's just weird.
Stephanie: That's an interesting point...
The room is quiet. Audrina continues chopping vegetables while Stephanie shifts around in her chair.
Audrina: Seems like we're done here so...
Stephanie: Oh, right. Bye.
"When Lauren's away...someone takes her place and no one really notices."
Meanwhile, at SBE, Heidi stops by coworker Kim's desk for some inane chit chat.
Heidi: You working on that event?
Kim: Yeah. I'm looking at skate ramps now.
Heidi: This is my favorite.
Kim: I know, right?
Heidi: I think I'm going to bring Spencer.
Kim: Awesome.
"When Lauren's away...the bullshitting continues."
Attempting to forge ahead with their new pretend friendship, Audrina and Lo meet for lunch.
Lo: I really miss Lauren.
Audrina: You do?
Lo: You don't? Hmmm. I'm sure she'll be interested to hear that.
Audrina: Oh please don't. We're supposed to be rekindling our friendship right now. La-aaaame.
Lo: You don't deserve her kindness and...and warmth...and guest house.
Audrina: You think I'm bad, you should hear what Stephanie's up to.
Lo: That bitch! I'll kill her.
Audrina: She's going on a date with Doug.
Lo: Doug? Doug Doug?
Audrina: That very Doug.
Lo: That bitch! I'll kill her!
Audrina: You mentioned that.
"When Lauren's away...lunch dates become 35% more awkward."
That night, having learned nothing from their earlier outing, Audrina and Lo get all dolled up to go to the club. Once there, they nestle into a booth and begin rhythmically stabbing their straws around in their cocktails. Silence follows. And then, thank heavens, the evening's entertainment arrives in the form of Heidi and Spencer.
Heidi: Wow, hi guys!
Audrina: Hiiiii!
Lo clears throat, fusses with sagging tube top.
Heidi: I never though I'd see you guys here! I mean, I had hoped. I mean...I sort of thought you might be here. And I thought hey maybe if I just get dressed and go to Goa, I might just happen to run into some friends. And I've been trying that all week but finally...it worked! Crazy! Now I won't have to spend another night at home sitting through Spencer's made up card tricks or watching him reorganize his DVDs from most to least kickass. Hahahahahahaha. Who's talking a lot? I AM! It's like I'm nuts but I'm not. I'm SO happy. SO in love.
Audrina: Um...that's...
Spencer: Hey, Lo! Something about Lauren.
Lo: What? What about her?
Spencer: Something, I don't know.
Lo: You can't just say "something," dipshit.
Spencer: Whatevs sketchface, I'm tired. Heidi, can we go home now? Play a little Wii tennis?
Heidi:(shaking violently) NO GOD DAMN IT! Ahem. So, Audrina. Any gossip?
Audrina: Did you hear Stephanie's going out with Doug?
"When Lauren's away...Heidi will play."
Later, we find ourselves at the X-Games party that Kim and Heidi planned. Audrina and Justin drop by to hang out. Spencer entertains them all with the witty dinner convo he's been practicing for days.
Spencer: You guys see Batman?
Justin: Yeah.
Spencer: So good. The joker...so good.
Justin: Uh-huh.
Audrina and Heidi start a little side conversation where they discuss the two things they have left to discuss at this point. Item 1: What's up with Stephanie? Item 2: We used to be such good friends. In the beginning. It was always us going out. It was so fun. We should be friends, etc.
While these good times are going down, Stephanie and Doug are out on their infamous date that Audrina won't shut her yap about.
Stephanie:You look nice. Your lips are really shiny.
Doug: Oh yeah. It's natural.
Stephanie: Well thanks for bringing me out.
Doug: Sure thing, babetard. After Lauren ditched me I was like, "I'll be damned if I'm getting kicked off The Hills." You know?
Stephanie: What?
Doug: You look pretty.
Stephanie: Aww. Thanks.
Just as they're about to tuck into their appetizers, Brody's mom strolls up to their table. And Stephanie gets a little glimpse into her own future. And it ain't pretty. It's just...odd.
They make small talk and Doug introduces himself. "Oh YOU'RE Doug," says Brody's mom. Ruh-roh. This isn't good.
When she shuffles off, Stephanie looks a little queasy.
Stephanie: Do you think she'll tell Brody?
Doug: Probably. Do you think she dug me?
Stephanie: Oh my god. Lauren will have my head for this!
Doug: I think her friend mighta liked me too. MILF. Hahahaha. MILF.
Stephanie: Then what will I do? Make NEW friends? Ha. Between the two of us we've already met everyone worthwhile.
Doug: Are you gonna eat your gazpacho?
"When Lauren's away...things get interesting."
But don't get too comfortable. Looks like Macky's back in town.
Lauren: I'm hoooooome
Lo: Lover! Oh I've missed the smell of your hair.
Audrina: How was Italy?
Lauren: Italian. I dunno, boring. I'd rather hear about the lives of the 3 people I know. Tell me everything I've missed.
Lo: Oh, um.
Audrina: Uh. Well.
Lauren: What?... What?
Lo: Stephanie was gonna go on a date with Doug.
Lauren: My Doug!? I mean, oh, that Doug? My ex Doug? Who I didn't like. I was done with him anyway. I don't care. No sir-ee-bub.
Lo: You're not mad?
Lauren: Pssh. What? No. Anyway, she'd never go through with the date.
Don't know quite why there was such a breakdown in the gossip machine all of a sudden. Didn't they hear she WENT on the date?
One good date deserves another, and so Brody and Lauren go out for some Mexican food. Oh, I see where this is going. And it doesn't matter when or how Brody broke the news of the ACTUAL Stephanie/Doug date to Lauren. All that matters is this precious look on her little face.
What's the Italian word for betrayal?
Just as they're about to tuck into their appetizers, Brody's mom strolls up to their table. And Stephanie gets a little glimpse into her own future. And it ain't pretty. It's just...odd.
They make small talk and Doug introduces himself. "Oh YOU'RE Doug," says Brody's mom. Ruh-roh. This isn't good.
When she shuffles off, Stephanie looks a little queasy.
Stephanie: Do you think she'll tell Brody?
Doug: Probably. Do you think she dug me?
Stephanie: Oh my god. Lauren will have my head for this!
Doug: I think her friend mighta liked me too. MILF. Hahahaha. MILF.
Stephanie: Then what will I do? Make NEW friends? Ha. Between the two of us we've already met everyone worthwhile.
Doug: Are you gonna eat your gazpacho?
"When Lauren's away...things get interesting."
But don't get too comfortable. Looks like Macky's back in town.
Lauren: I'm hoooooome
Lo: Lover! Oh I've missed the smell of your hair.
Audrina: How was Italy?
Lauren: Italian. I dunno, boring. I'd rather hear about the lives of the 3 people I know. Tell me everything I've missed.
Lo: Oh, um.
Audrina: Uh. Well.
Lauren: What?... What?
Lo: Stephanie was gonna go on a date with Doug.
Lauren: My Doug!? I mean, oh, that Doug? My ex Doug? Who I didn't like. I was done with him anyway. I don't care. No sir-ee-bub.
Lo: You're not mad?
Lauren: Pssh. What? No. Anyway, she'd never go through with the date.
Don't know quite why there was such a breakdown in the gossip machine all of a sudden. Didn't they hear she WENT on the date?
One good date deserves another, and so Brody and Lauren go out for some Mexican food. Oh, I see where this is going. And it doesn't matter when or how Brody broke the news of the ACTUAL Stephanie/Doug date to Lauren. All that matters is this precious look on her little face.
What's the Italian word for betrayal?
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Roughing it, and drinking wine in a hot tub.
I just got back from a weekend camping trip in Big Bear.
Ok, it wasn't like full-on camping camping. This was more like a bunch of friends renting a cabin with a full kitchen, cable and internet, a big deck and a hot tub.
This is a big step up from previous camping trips with friends. A while back, when Devin and I had only been dating a few months, he invited me along on a weekend camping trip. With tents. And bug spray. And sleeping bags. You know, camping camping.
Eager to make a good impression in this formative stage of our budding relationship, I said "I'd love to go!"
I'm kidding. I was honest. And I frowned and protested, "But I hate camping!" I'd always hated it, even as a kid. Growing up in Central New York, we were about a 10 minute drive in any direction from a patch of wilderness worth camping on. And though I'm certain my family and I went camping many times, I can only recall two instances (the rest, I believe, I've blocked from memory)(or, more likely, I'm just growing forgetful in my old age).
On one camping trip, we went to the Thousand Islands. It rained all weekend, leaking through our tent and forcing us into a dry island of blankets and backpacks in the center. During the night, raccoons got into our cooler and ate everything except for the cans of Spam. The presence of these cans of Spam was sort of a mystery, given my mother's disapproval of both meat and preservatives, but I digress...
The second camping trip was in the Adirondacks, I think. By this point I was in my early teen years and therefore eternally bored. I don't remember much about the trip, only that while we left the campsite to get dinner in town, a black bear reportedly chilled out on our picnic table for a while. We learned this from our next-door tent neighbor who was forced into her car, fearing for her life. I did not sleep well that night.
But I don't think it's these experiences that caused my distaste for camping. I mean, really, I was a kid. I'm sure I mostly had a blast.
The real problem with camping is that it's all just a way for us to inconvenience ourselves for no good reason. We voluntarily throw ourselves into a situation with no running water or indoor plumbing, no cushy mattresses, no cell phone reception. We get no sleep whatsoever. At night, we freeze our asses off, wearing a wooly hat and 3 sweatshirts, tucked into a sleeping bag. And then in the morning, at like 6 am, the sun comes out and begins baking us inside our tents as though we are some manner of puff pastry. Oh, and, AND! Everything we need for the trip --layers upon layers of clothing, aloe vera gel, etc. --is shoved into backpacks, which are then shoved into a tent. Then, every time we need something, we have to climb into the tent, being sure not to drag in dirt or allow a moth to fly in, and then rummage around, tossing our belongings in all directions, so that they inevitably become entangled in a fleece pullover or a blanket or even the tent lining, and then the next time we crawl in the tent, we can't find anything.
Anyway, I went on that first camping trip with Devin, despite myself. And I went again the next year. And sure enough, I was cold. And restless. And somehow, always sitting downwind of the campfire so that my clothes and hair ended up smelling all smokey, like hot dogs or something.
At bedtime, we'd all nestle into our tents, where we would spent the entire night wide awake, scared to death of the mysterious rustling noises in the bushes. On the second camping trip, when we all woke up after the first night, we gathered over breakfast and concluded that no one had slept a wink because we were all convinced that a yetti or bear or madman was stomping around outside our tents. Devin had even slept with a knife clutched against his chest.
Then, before going to bed that night, we divided our weapons among the tents. Someone had a machete (for some reason), Devin had his Rambo knife with (for some reason) a belt holster thingy, another camper had a shotgun (what?), and Devin lent out his hatchet.
I'll stop here, and remind you all that in no other situation and during no other form of vacation does one need to worry about their personal safety like this. Camping...why do we do this to ourselves?
And so, I was relieved to learn that this year's annual camping trip would be gloriously tent-free, and lead us instead to a cozy cabin with a fireplace and a dishwasher, and a washer/dryer. Hell, those are 3 things I don't even have in my own apartment.
And it was a great weekend. With lots of drinking. Lot and lots of drinking. Because, it turns out, there's not much else you can do while camping unless you're actually hunting and preparing your own meals.
I'll go into more detail later, including the near-shipwreck of our pontoon boat, if and when I get pictures to show you.
Until then, cheers to the new way to camp!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
A likely story...
Help help! I'm being held hostage at work! They're making me earn my money! It's ruining my blog. There are people who need me to write bitchy things about The Hills. And I'm failing them.
Monday, September 15, 2008
New, Improved Grown Up
So. Today's my birthday. I'm 26. This means I'm officially closer to 30 than 20. And I'm okay with that.
Sure, 30 seemed really really old when I was a little kid. And when you see actors playing 30 year olds in movies and TV, they all look about 40.
But when I look at all of my friends who are 30 or older, they look 25 and act 22. The future seems manageable.
I already celebrated my birthday on Friday by going out to my favorite neighborhood bar. My sister brought a cake and we had pizza delivered. My friend Ryan commended me for hosting the first pizza party he's been to since he was a kid.
And I didn't get really drunk. And aside from Ken playing Christmas songs on the jukebox, nothing too inappropriate happened. Perhaps I'm growing up after all.
That is to say, it was a big step up from last year's birthday cirque du disaster. It began with sake bombs, moved on to me mashing my hands into an ice cream cake while laughing hysterically, and then to a shouting match between my friend Shannon and two of my lesser guests who refused to pitch in to pay for dinner. Shortly thereafter, I ran into an old friend on the street and congratulated him on his marriage (which had taken place about 10 months earlier...). We were then kicked out of one bar for being too drunk, and then a second bar, again for being too drunk, but more so because we'd bum-rushed the karoake stage, stolen the microphone and sang a not-so-pleasant song about how the bar and all its patrons were horrible people. Then, we made our way back to my apartment to sing Oxygen On-Demand Air Karaoke with a group of random people my sister picked up at the supermarket while out obtaining us some completely unnecessary new bottles of booze.
So thanks to all of my friends who came out this year, remained calm, and gave me cute presents. It was nice not to wake up Saturday morning wondering how I'd gotten home, where I'd put my shoes, and why my kitchen floor was all sticky.
And now, back to work.
xo,
B
Sure, 30 seemed really really old when I was a little kid. And when you see actors playing 30 year olds in movies and TV, they all look about 40.
But when I look at all of my friends who are 30 or older, they look 25 and act 22. The future seems manageable.
I already celebrated my birthday on Friday by going out to my favorite neighborhood bar. My sister brought a cake and we had pizza delivered. My friend Ryan commended me for hosting the first pizza party he's been to since he was a kid.
And I didn't get really drunk. And aside from Ken playing Christmas songs on the jukebox, nothing too inappropriate happened. Perhaps I'm growing up after all.
That is to say, it was a big step up from last year's birthday cirque du disaster. It began with sake bombs, moved on to me mashing my hands into an ice cream cake while laughing hysterically, and then to a shouting match between my friend Shannon and two of my lesser guests who refused to pitch in to pay for dinner. Shortly thereafter, I ran into an old friend on the street and congratulated him on his marriage (which had taken place about 10 months earlier...). We were then kicked out of one bar for being too drunk, and then a second bar, again for being too drunk, but more so because we'd bum-rushed the karoake stage, stolen the microphone and sang a not-so-pleasant song about how the bar and all its patrons were horrible people. Then, we made our way back to my apartment to sing Oxygen On-Demand Air Karaoke with a group of random people my sister picked up at the supermarket while out obtaining us some completely unnecessary new bottles of booze.
So thanks to all of my friends who came out this year, remained calm, and gave me cute presents. It was nice not to wake up Saturday morning wondering how I'd gotten home, where I'd put my shoes, and why my kitchen floor was all sticky.
And now, back to work.
xo,
B
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