Thoughts on the Holiday Season: I'm just soooo busy.

Every year, when the holiday season rolls around, we all wrap ourselves up in the joy of feeling so effing busy. There is this general understanding that from Thanksgiving to the New Year, everyone is absolutely swamped with...um, stuff. We say things like, "You know how it is this time of year!" or "I can't believe Christmas is in two weeks!" and then we roll our eyes and twist our faces into an expression meant to indicate exasperation. I am guilty of this nonsense. I pull this shit every year and you know you do too.

And I ask, what exactly is keeping us so busy?

Shopping for gifts?
Hmm, that's probably the most time consuming, but really I've never had to give up more than a weekend or two.

Wrapping presents?
An afternoon.

Attending holiday parties?
Oh woe is me. And who has more than a handful of these things to go to anyway?

Traveling?
Bah. Sitting on a plane for a few hours.

Baking cookies?
Voluntary. You did it to yourself.

Hanging up decorations?
Watching Christmas specials?
Painting your nails a festive shade of red?
What? What? What, I ask you!?

If I had to estimate, generously, I would say I spend about 20 total hours during the holiday season doing the above items on that list. And this doesn't count participating on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, when my only purpose is to do things like cut celery into snack size sticks, dig out the Christmas carol cds, and admire neighbors' light displays.

20 hours. Here is a list of things I have spent MORE than 20 hours doing this December:
Laundry
Watching The Hills
Drinking
Recovering from hangovers
Exercising? Sure why not...
Perusing MySpace
Making lists

See? So what's the big deal with a little shoppity shopping and eggnogging? Relax.

But then, if you're like me, this whole matter is even more complicated than just needing to relax. You are also using your fake busy-ness as an excuse to turn down dinner invitations and call in sick to work with exaggerated claims of fatigue and "coming down with something." You are using the holidays, quite cleverly, as an excuse to do nothing. And if you aren't doing it, you should be. Everyone else is. It's addicting.

So what do we do about all of this? Well, I do solemnly swear not to talk about how busy I am this time of year. Honestly. It's annoying. And if you catch me, you can dock me two candy cane points.