Wednesday, October 21, 2009

My DJ was a D-Bag. So what?

In my last post I alluded to the fact that a number of things went seriously (I'd say disastrously) wrong at our wedding. And while this is true, and while I'd planned to share horrifying detail after horrifying detail with you, I've decided I'd better just stop thinking about the bullshit and focus on the memories. Isn't that what people advise brides-to-be? "Now remember, don't think about the bullshit."

Well, someone should start saying that to brides. I will.

Actually, it was Devin who suggested we just put a ban on the postmortem analysis after discovering that the further we tried to get to the bottom of things, the worse we both felt. I think I might actually be a little depressed. And I have stopped talking about it, sort of.

By now I'm sure you're really wondering what's going on and if I'm ever going to tell you. Well, I'm not. At least not exactly. Suffice it to say that we were fined a handsome sum of money for smokers smoking outside of the site's designated smoking area. (If you're reading this and you're one of them, you're an asshole. I'm sorry but it's true! And I can't call you up and tell you that personally.) The DJ started fights with me, Devin, my sister, my father, and our photographer. We nearly got shut down for someone smoking pot in the bathroom - or what has come to be called "the incident in the bathroom" in all related emails since. And I wound up leaving my kitchen shears and steak knives at the hotel.

I'd love to expand on all of those points of interest, but if I start, I'm likely to type so furiously I'll break a finger.

So since we've gotten back from our honeymoon we've been trying to get money back and make sense of it all. But nothing seemed to be going our way.

And in the meantime I have everyone I know asking me if I had a good time. I think the phrase "Don't even get me started!" was invented for moments like these.

It really sucks. To be honest I've been putting on a front as best as I can and seem like everything was perfect. It looks that way in pictures. And actually until everything took a weird turn the day genuinely WAS perfect. I'm really hoping that as time passes I'll only remember how great everything was, that it was 99% awesome and that I got to spend a day with everyone I love. Because for now whenever it gets brought up I have the same reaction you'd have if someone brought up a night you got really drunk and embarrassed yourself. I just want to pretend it never happened. And that breaks my heart.

Still, I'm getting better. The full DJ story (which I will tell you some time over drinks...later) is actually already a little bit funny. And it helps that Devin has somehow managed to filter out the bad stuff and I know I'll come around. When all is said and done, I really DID get married. That was the end goal and I met it.

In an effort to prove to myself that I don't really give a damn, I sent one final email to the location's (passive-aggressive) manager, whom I'd been battling with over the smoking issue. I wanted to type something jolly like "hey, my friends might be idiots but they're still my friends!" Then I deleted idiots and typed crazy. Then I deleted that and typed whacky. Then I gave up and instead just wrote "I really had a fun time!"

Thankfully she hasn't responded. So at least I got the final word.


Meghan said...

you're awesome.

kat said...

You'll feel better soon! Don't worry! Post-wedding depression is par for the course even if it goes off without a hitch; it's just way too much build-up for one effing day.

And, uh... on the upside, it sounds like people had a pretty good time.

Meghan said...

i was having too much fun dancing to notice 98% of what transpired. you should have just shaken a leg with us, chip and the anthonys

Hollywood Sucker said...

Meghan- No YOU'RE awesome. And I know, I wish I had been able to just shrug it off and dance more. I did hit the dance floor long enough to initiate the "worst dance moves" competition.

Kat- I was hoping someone would say something like that. THANK YOU!

Katelin said...

oh goodness i'm sorry so many things went so bad, sheesh. but um not to be ridiculous, who was your dj so i know to avoid at all costs, haha. and um. you're still fabulous, just so you know.

cOm said...

wait...there was a "worst dance moves competition"???

how did I miss all of this??

too busy busting my own moves?
one too many anthonys? and by 'anthonys' I mean 'vodka tonic'

devin said...

You were the most beautiful bride of all time. People who love you literally came from all over the world to be there and everyone had a great time. I know because they said so. It was a special night and a couple of things going wrong doesn't change that. I love you!

kOm said...

gosh....looks like the most important part went chose a really sweet and romantic groom who knows just the right thing to say.

also your WEDDING was THE MOST PERFECT was pure and sweet and from the heart...romantic, in a beautiful setting and perfectly reflective of you two...if a couple of things were amiss at the party after....well...that doesn't change the fact that the WEDDING was PERFECT....and you WERE "the most beautiful bride of all time" and together with that handsome and wonderful groom you chose, you are the most perfect couple of all time....a wonderful time was had by all who love you both and who traveled from near and far to celebrate this most wonderful moment with you both!