Sunday, March 30, 2008

A Weekend Wrap Up or I Think I'm Sweating Pinot Noir or I May Never Grow Up or What's Wrong With Me?

Remember how I bought that hamper a while back? The intention being that once I had a terribly neat and proper place to put my dirty clothes, I would then always stay on top of the insurmountable pile of laundry, and thus the apartment would be forever clean and therefore I would live in a place that reflected my level of responsibility and maturity and so at last I could consider myself a real Grown Up and leave behind behaviors I'd always meant to rid myself of since college.

Yes, I may have laid too much stake in the hamper as an indicator of the advancement of my adulthood...but just look at the sorry state of it as of this weekend.

Good bye, bright future! I mean, there are clothes near it when they could just be in it, but noooo that would take too much effort. And the top of the hamper isn't even on correctly. Good grief, I give up. (5 points if you noticed perfect Midge the Cat.)

Another indication of my pathetic ability to grow up was the drunken behavior of me and my friends when we took a train to Santa Barbara on Saturday to go wine tasting. I'm pretty sure that when Grown Ups go wine tasting, someone actually makes it home with the bottles purchased along the way, rather than drinking them all while lingering around outside the front entrance to the tasting rooms. And I'm also pretty sure that when Grown Ups go wine tasting they never hear the phrases "Before we move on to our next winery, I've been told that one of you has a bottle of wine that hasn't been paid for" or "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to behave or we'll have to let you off the train at the next stop." Ok, in fairness, I hadn't actually meant to leave the tasting room without paying for the bottle of chardonnay. I'd tried to hand over a debit card but none of the employees were paying attention to me and after a while I realized that everyone else was already outside, enjoying the sunshine and I didn't feel like standing inside any longer. If they didn't want to charge me, then who was I to argue. And in Devin's defense, the only reason he got in trouble on the train was because he was responding to the behavior of some lunatic woman who stood up at the back of our car and starting spewing crazy talk about Jesus and so the only logical recourse was for someone to stand in the aisle, holding his hands above his head like horns and doing a little dance while screaming "Shut the fuck up!" Perhaps he was further motivated by the entire bottle of sparkling rose he drank while I was passed out in the seat next to him, leaving him, unfortunately, quite bored.

Anyway, I have to say that yes the weekend was fantastic, and although I'm sorry to say that I have yet to act my age, I'm glad none of my friends are grown ups either.

15 comments:

Barry said...

You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever :)

Julie_Gong said...

i wish that little dance was on film. i'd pay good money to see that.

Peter said...

The first clothes hamper that you bought died so that this one could live.

You have an 0obligation here...

Ashley said...

eh, growing up is overrated. esp at wine tastings.

cOm said...

ha.
my brother should be on a leash.
or on tv!

we can't help but grow old, but
i hope you never grow up.

surviving myself said...

1) Your post titles remind me of those old Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons. Do you know what I'm talking about? I hope so.

2) Growing up is for losers.

Corinne said...

Weekend was hilarious. And I don't plan on ever growing up (rent Peter Pan 2003, btw). I figure, I spend at least eight hours a day, five days a week, in a place where I have to act like an adult. That's way too much. Next time, I vote Six Flags, although Devin may want to tone it down as to not draw attention from the gangs.

devin said...

you forgot to point out the suit case sitting on top of the hamper, still packed full of clothes from our trip to vegas two weeks ago

mindy said...

I'm pretty sure that "lunatic" you speak of was just trying to save your poor, hell-bound souls!

Or she was a lunatic, whatever.

Um, I LOVE that you got busted for jacking a bottle of chardonnay. You are fantastic.

Kristen said...

I did notice Midge the cat! If it makes you feel better, to curtail the laundry piling up all over my bedroom floor syndrome, I take 2 oversized trash bags of laundry that won't fit in my overstuffed hamper, and stuff them wherever there's room in my closet. That way, no one knows my secret! Oh but wait, I just let you in on it. Damn!

Inono said...

Poor Midgey is sitting there trying to be all prim and proper. "This is not MY laundry."

Wish I could have gone wine tasting too!

That Saddity Chic said...

Sounds like you has a great time. That's what being young is about. I refuse to grow up until I'm 30. And I still spew my dirty clothes all over the floor too :)

Hollywood Sucker said...

barry-ah. a lovely phrase.

julie- i wish it was too. damn, why am i so slow with the camera?

peter- I know but I suck at life.

ashley- Yeah, you're right. Maybe one can be a grown up at a company party? Family reunion? Wedding? Damn, those are good times to drink and act crazy too. When are we supposed to grow up when there's all this partying to do?

com- I know...someone put this guy on tv so i can get some peace and quiet!

surviving- 1) ah, you've discovered my inspiration. 2) see that's where I get confused because I am such a loser.

corinne- But six flags doesn't have wine!

devin- ok, but now i've unpacked that so i must give myself some credit. and then i replaced it with a basket of laundry...

mindy- it wasn't theft it was an accident!

kristen- 5 points for yoU!

inono- Poor dear, I stress her out with all of my failures...

saddity- 30? I was aiming for 40...

Tomas said...

Your adult behaviors show similarities to my recent "corporate" SB wine tour with some of the most important business persons behind a certain #1 TV show that will remain nameless here to protect the guilty...

-All wine purchased did not make it back on the drive
-Dancing may have broke the limo bus bar
-2 beer runs accompanied 2 In N Out stops on JUST the ride back to L.A., and we still finished it all.

If they are adults, so are we. Tis the life of a bunch of Hollywood Suckers. Wouldn't live any other way :)

JenBun said...

HILARIOUS!!! I wish I could have been on that train!

I went wine-tasting with work people for our holiday party, and we drank an entire case (CASE) of wine in the limo by the time we made it back home. That was like a bottle for each of us! Yay!

I wanted to die the next day. But I never want to grow up! =)