Friday, June 6, 2008

What A Mess

Just a quickie here. I've gone and said something dumb again.

It happened yesterday. When I got home from work Seamus the dog was all jumpy and playful and wouldn't leave me alone for two seconds. "Where's your dad?" I asked, meaning "I don't feel like playing and I want to make Devin do it."

Well, Devin was showing one of the open apartments in our building to perspective tenants. I think I forgot to mention this, but we are the new property managers.

So I take a tennis ball and bring Seamus into the courtyard for a few rounds of fetch. To him, fetch means chasing after the ball, picking it up in his mouth, and then running toward me so that I think he's finally gotten the hang of it, but then passing by me, making a u-turn behind me, then running back in the opposite direction, stopping half way to drop the tennis ball in some bushes, make a half assed attempt to sniff out the lost ball, and then wander off, causing me to dig around for said tennis ball, and then chase after him. It's really fun.

We play this game of his for a few minutes, and then he decides to just take a dump. Eeep! I run inside to get a plastic bag to clean up after him before any of the neighbors see what our bad dog has done.

After cleaning it up, while holding the bag of poo, I let him back into the apartment, and then walk to the dumpsters behind the building. At this point, I notice Devin with the two girls he's showing the apartment to. So I throw out the poo bag, and then as I make my way back inside, I run into him and the girls as he's showing off our wonderful laundry room.

He introduces me to the two of them. They seemed nice, smiling faces and all. The first girl extends her hand to offer the customary introductory handshake, but I put my hands in the air, with my fingers spread wide apart like toddlers do when they show you how much paint they've gotten all over themselves.

"I just picked up dog poop," I blurt out in a panicky voice.

Just like that. Not, "Oh nice to meet you, I'd shake your hand but I was just picking up after the dog."

Or I could've just shaken her hand and said nothing and she wouldn't have known what I'd been up to. And after all, there'd been a layer of 7-11 plastic bag between my hands and the poo so it's not THAT gross.

But no. "I just picked up dog poop!" Nice to meet you.

7 comments:

Katelin said...

hahaha you seriously crack me up every time. that is awesome.

Inono said...

I would have SO prefered "I picked up dog poo!" to you just shaking my hand and me not knowing. EEWWWW!

Felicia said...

Do you get free rent for being property managers?? If so, I might be able to move back to L.A. then...

Your Girlfriend is Ugly said...

If someone doesn't think that's funny when a person blurts out "I just picked up dog poo" then they are boring and you shouldn't even rent to them.

I hope she at least cracked a smile.

Julie_Gong said...

i'm going to try that on someone i don't want to talk to... thanks1

JenBun said...

I probably would have fallen over laughing!

But I still would not have wanted to shake your hand.

Anonymous said...

LOL...well at least you were honest. I'd rather you told me that then me noticing the lil baggie after I shook your hand.
-Shanda(R)