Tomorrow morning at 7am I meet with my running group. This is part of my ridiculous plan to run a half marathon.
Last Saturday was our big kick off meeting. In preparation for this, I'd run about 90 miles in the previous week (exaggeration) so that when we went out for our first run, I'd be able to keep up and look like an awesome athletic person.
The last time I attempted to train for a marathon, I went to the first meeting and we were asked to split into 3 groups: Runners, Walkers, and Run/Walkers. I guessed I'd be able to keep up with the running group, and so I stood with them, trying not to look down on the walkers.
Then as we trotted off to the road and began our run, at what I'd already judged as too fast a pace, the coach yelled back to the group "We'll be doing about 5 miles today." All nonchalant.
Pretending I was trying to fix some randomly broken thing on my ipod, I slowed down and let the group go ahead of me. And then I fell in with the Run/Walkers, where I stayed for the next few months until I just stopped coming to the meetings.
So fearing a repeat of last time, I was all ready to go at least (what I mean is at most) 5 miles for the kickoff meeting on Saturday.
And do you know how far we went?
1 mile.
So I got to look like a super star, staying at the front of the pack, right by the coach's side.
This came right after my first super star moment of the meeting. During the blahblahblah about fundraising, the Director of Train To End Stroke announced that three people had already passed their 25% fundraising goal. And among them....me!
So thank you to everyone who donated! You have made me look awesome! I'm now at about 50% of my $2100 goal.
The three of us were rewarded with team hats. The kind of hats that real runners wear. And I wore mine as I ran ahead of the whole group, feeling like I was the shit.
[This arrogance will wear off in a few weeks when we're doing longer runs and I have to devise some kind of plan to duck behind a bush, then take a short cut to the finish line, where I will wait for everyone else and when they arrive I'll be leaning against a tree, eating an apple. "What took you guys so long?"]
When I got home, I showed off my fabulous real runner hat to Devin and then put it away.
And shortly thereafter, Seamus ate it.
Now, before you go thinking my dog is a real jerk for digging my precious hat out of a drawer and destroying it, you should know that he has inadvertently been trained to attack hats. I won't name names but someone has been giving him old 7th Heaven hats as improvised chew toys to keep him busy while he's at the office.
Anyway, I think I can fix it with duct tape.
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9 comments:
The "pretend to tie my shoes then find a shortcut to the finish line" approach is so money. I don't get why people don't do it more in real marathons. I mean, come on, it's so much easier.
props for raising so much money already. and for running, i am so not a runner. i would totally be in the walk only group, haha.
Is yours secretly a 7th Heaven hat too?
You can admit it.
;)
you get points for even attempting to RUN. With people watching.
...I don't do that sort of thing.
Kudos on raising so much money. I only run when being chased (doesn't happen often). I'd probably just say I recently had my hip replaced so I could be with the walkers but still be a little vain at the same time.
Why were you eating an apple at the finish line?
Why not an orange?
Or Peking Duck?
Seamus just hates the Protestants and he could smell the scent on the hats, that's all.
you left out the part between
"When I got home, I showed off my fabulous real runner hat to Devin and then put it away."
and
"And shortly thereafter, Seamus ate it."
Where I warned you: "be careful, he's gotten in the habit of eating hats lately"
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