Monday, April 21, 2008

On a scale of 1-10, please rate the attractiveness of your surveyor

As part of my continuing efforts to rid myself of the back monkey, I've taken yet another odd job. I hand out exit surveys as movie theaters are let out, asking the opinions of audience members on the movie they've just watched. My first experience with this was on Friday night.

This side job is not nearly as horrid, embarrassing, and suicide-inspiring as catering (job #2). It's actually kind of fun. And takes about 15 total minutes of time. I don't really have to talk to anyone. I just say "quick survey," hand them the little piece of paper, take it back from them after about 30 seconds, and then tally up the results when I get home.

Since I've always been on the opposite side of the fence when a movie let out, I've never before had the chance to watch an exiting audience. Let me tell you, it is something else. They are much like a herd of unsupervised cattle, eyes blinking and adjusting to the light, regaining their sense of reality after setting it aside for 2 hours. They walk slowly, weaving from side to side, bumping into one another. They chew absentmindedly on the straws stuck into their nearly-emptied enormous soda cups. They murmur to one another, "That was good." "Yes yes." "I really have to pee."

I learned that when a survey is offered to people, they will do one of three things:
1. Take the survey from you and fill it out.
2. Refuse the survey.
3. Take the survey from you and then wander off without filling it out.

How would you rate this film? (Please circle one)
Excellent / Good / Fair / Poor

Would you recommend this film to friends? (Please circle one)
Yes, definitely / Yes, probably / No, probably not / Definitely not

Did you think your surveyor believed you when you tried to act like you were too busy on your cellphone to look in her direction? (Please circle one)
Yes, definitely / Yes, probably / No, probably not / Definitely not

Did you really have something better to do with the next 30 seconds of your life than fill this out? (Please circle one)
Yes, definitely / Yes, probably / No, probably not / Definitely not

Are you just circling random responses to get this over with and go to the restroom? (Please circle one)
Yes, definitely / Yes, probably / No, probably not / Definitely not


mindy said...

I think even when a person is on his/her cell phone, you should follow him/her around with the survey & pencil in your out stretched hand. Don't say anything, just follow them.

I wonder if this would get you fired?

Peter said...

That is exactly what Mindy does after a date.

As I am getting ready to hit "Publish your comment," it is dawning on me that this comment doesn't make a lot of sense. Which is actually making me laugh. And so...

mindy said...

I SUBSCRIBED to comments, jerkface! I'm talking to you, DeWolf!

Also, which thing do I do--follow my date around saying nothing and being creepy, or ask them to rate my attractiveness?

(Hint: you can answer "all of the above")

Peter said...

You subscribed to comments, Mindy? just on the off chance someone mentions your name?

Katelin said...

I don't think I've ever been handed a survey when exiting a theater, usually it's wile I'm still in my seat and then I really can't get away, haha. I kid, I kid, I actually like filling those things out, what can I say, I love movies.

Corinne said...

I had to conduct horrid, tiresome, 10-minute phone surveys as part of an assignment for a political science class that was, unfortunately, a requirement for my Masters. I must've called about 100 people -- using the old-school random telephonebook method they taught us -- and only about 10 people agreed to plow through it. Ever since then, I usually always agree to answer surveys -- print or phone.

However, I lie on political polls to try to sway the vote my way. I never said I was normal.

Inono said...

Interesting! I've never seen someone passing out survey's after a movie. But I am definitely one of the walk-quickly-away-while-pretending-to-be-busy type people. I hate filling out surveys or questionnaires when I don't fully know where they are going. I'm suspicious!

Inono said...

Oh, and PS, you're a TEN in my book!

surviving myself said...

I get assaulted by so many people trying to hand stuff to me on the streets that I have developed an immunity to it. It's like I don't even see them.

I'd snub you. Sorry.

mindy said...

Peter: No, I subscribed because I love Hollywood Sucker. And myself. Mostly myself.

Survivingmyself: It's good to see that it's not just ME you're mean to.

Hollywood: Um, sorry for sort of taking over the comments. My bad. Well, Peter's bad, technically, but I'm certainly not helping things am I?

Hollywood Sucker said...

mindy: no....thank you! this saves me a lot of time. now, how would you feel about vacuuming the inside of my car this weekend and working my saturday catering shift?

peter: I read your comment as she follows men around, quietly, after a date.

katelin: you must start coming to my screenings if you love surveys. i need your help!

corinne: see above.

inono: no YOU'RE a ten

surviving: get over it!

Julie_Gong said...

i'm such a sucker for a survey.

JenBun said...

On a scale of one to ten? My surveyor is 10893639757835!!! :D