Wednesday, July 23, 2008

The Human's a play on words. You'll see.

About a month ago I informed you all that my running group turned out to be some serious bullshit. They wanted me to pay out of my own pocket the money that I didn't raise through donations in order to meet my fundraising goal. At the time of that post, it would have meant paying them $1000.

Ha! As if!

After writing all of that, I sent a strongly worded email (we all know there's nothing scarier...) to the director of my team telling her about my predicament and asking her why I'd be required to shell out my own cash. It went sorta like this: "Hey, this sucks! I'm broke! What gives?"

I waited and waited for an email response. And then after several hours, she called me. Called! Ack! What ever happened to the wussy protection that email offers those of us who fear confrontation? How am I supposed to speak to her about this? I cannot be eloquent and intelligent-sounding when I'm upset.

But I forged ahead, certain that I could convince her to see things my way and she'd bend the rules just for lil' ol' me and let me slide through without paying her. Or maybe her voice would drop to a whisper and she'd say "'s okay we just made up that rule to see if we could get people to follow it. Some people actually pay, can you believe it? Suckers. But no, you're cool."

Unfortunately, things did not go as I'd hoped. And the conversation came to a close when she told me, "Well, I think that you've come so far you'll be able to raise the rest of the money."

To which I responded, "You don't understand, I'm out of people to ask for donations. I know no mo' people."

"You can get corporate sponsors or host a fundraising event."

Oh man did that sound awful.

"No...I just. I don't know."

"Okay well think about it and let me know. Bye."

And that was that. No "Thanks for raising all of that other money though!"

Just like that, I was off the team.

For those of you who donated, don't worry, your money went straight to the American Stroke Association and only a teency part of it went to the butts who ran my team. So I feel good that I still helped raise money for a good cause.

But after that quitting business, I felt like the world's biggest failure. Is there one thing, just one thing I can see through to the end?

In the next two weeks I didn't run at all. I was too resentful. Apparently it was running's fault.

Then I started to feel fat and lame so I started up again. But now I was set back a bit in my training and worried I'd never reach 13 miles by race day. And even if I did, I didn't want to show up at the race and see my old teammates and their stupid faces. I felt stuck.

Starbucks to the rescue! Last week I was putting milk in my coffee and noticed a stack of pamphlets next to the napkin holder. They advertised the Nike Human Race 10k. It's a race taking place in 25 cities all over the world on the same day as the race I'd originally plan to run- August 31st.

It is so much cooler! And there's a free Kanye West concert at the end. Well, at least in LA. There are other bands in the other cities. And you only have to pay $35 to race.

I'm back on track now. And for those of you in NY and Chicago, there's a race taking place in your city too. So look into signing up and you guys can be my new teammates.


margottobed said...

such a frustrating ordeal it sounds... glad you've got the COOLER option now ;)

Inono said...

Yay, that sounds fun!! I wish I could be there to cheer you on, but I'll just have to do it from afar.

surviving myself said...

So I looked into this race, and at the end of ours it's some lame band. You get Ye and I get crap.

Not fair.

JenBun said...


Something better always comes along!

Anonymous said...

Wow- the team leader sounds like a bitch.
Good for finding a new one though! I'll have to check out the Chicago one.

Amanda said...

Ugh, I hate when people take a nice thing and turn it into a situation to make people feel guilty. You should definitely feel good about the money you raised.

The Human Race sounds awesome. Their commercial on their website mesmerized me for a good 30 minutes after I watched it. It makes you want to run out the door right now.

Hollywood Sucker said...

margottobed- Somehow I always find a way to be the coolest.

inono- You can run in NY! I know you won't...but you could! You can Brian can do it. OH I just made myself laugh.

surviving- You know you're gonna run it anyway. I hear there's an open bar at the finish line.

jenbun- Haha. Yes something was bound to work out for me one of these days.

sandy- Oh I hope you do! It would be cool knowing we're all participating in the same event!

amanda- Thanks for saying that. It made me feel better. xo.

rs27 said...

Nothing wrong with the Human Race.

Kanye knows.

Katelin said...

wow that sounds ridiculous. at least you have the new race coming up, that sounds awesome.

Jordyn said...

Ha I saw one of those phamplits (okay, my awesome spelling rep just went down the pooper) when I was at Starbucks today.
Their new motto should be...
Starbucks: Saving people from crappy running teams.