Friday, July 25, 2008

Let Them Eat Weird Cake

With our wedding location selected (but not actually paid for...yet), I'm left wondering what, exactly, I'm supposed to do now.  The wedding isn't for another 14 months, an unbearable length of time that I wouldn't have committed myself to if it wasn't for the fear of having to get married in the hot hot heat of the summer months.  No one likes a sweaty bride. 

So now I just have this motley messy to-do list.  And no item on the list needs to be checked off at any point soon.  

-Pick out flowers for me and my bridesmaid's bouquets.  
[Can be done morning of wedding.]

-Book a DJ.
[Can't be bothered right now.]

-Buy a dress.
[Done.  Sadly.  I think this is what I'm supposed to be fixated on for the next three months.]

-Make guest list.
[But I don't know who I will stop liking between now and then.]

And so instead of accomplishing anything meaningful, I just research everything I possibly can.  I watch TV shows and I peruse websites about weddings.  

But I don't look for ideas I want to borrow for my own wedding.  On the contrary, I seem to be taking a decidedly negative approach to this planning.  I only care to read about weddings gone wrong.  About evil mother-in-laws.  About brides who got too fat to fit into their gowns.  About receptions that cost $60k and are tacky as hell.  

I participate in several different bridal discussion boards.  But my favorite is "the bitching forum," where I just read about everything that's pissing brides off.  

It's much easier for me to look at pictures of centerpieces and bridesmaids dresses and color schemes and go "Blech!" than to try to make any actual decisions about what I like.   Besides, at least I've figured out what I don't like.  

Today, my research brought me to Cake Wrecks.   A website of horrible cakes.  Oh the delight!  

And so I present to you the best worst wedding cake I've ever seen.


11 comments:

Amanda said...

That cake is A-MAZING. I totally want one.

surviving myself said...

That is awesome!

At my wedding, whenever the hell that is, I'm going to have a Steelers cake.

Inono said...

I call the slice with the guy getting shot in the head!

JenBun said...

That is the worst cake I've ever seen...

But I'm off to spend the rest of my afternoon looking at all the other contenders!

Ugh, I don't think I'm going to be able to plan my wedding. I'm just not that into most of that stuff, either. Maybe I'll just let whatever dude ends up being the groom plan the whole thing? Like you said? Want to come to this disaster??

Felicia said...

That cake is fucking frightening.

Katelin said...

okay that cake is aaaamazing. i love it.and definitely checking out that site.

and i love watching bridezillas and horrible crap like that too.

Phil said...

All that aside, I think the real FUN of everything is finding fault in things. Forget praise, criticism is the fastest way to feel awesome about things like this.

Paula said...

What a sick but hilarious cake.

A phrase I have NEVER anticipated using before . . .

nicoleantoinette said...

Ha, someone just showed me that website yesterday and I was laughing and laughing.

I wouldn't worry too much about the messy to do list. Maybe make a timeline style list so you know when you have to do what, and then relax until it's time to move on some of that stuff!

saratogajean said...

At my wedding, I'm going to make a pyramid of Krispy Kreme donuts. If I'm feeling creative, maybe I'll decorate it with some fondant flowers. And if I'm feeling generous, maybe I'll share. But maybe not.

mindy said...

I have a suggestion for your guest list:
On theknot.com you can create guest lists and mark people as "A-list" or "B-list". This will be handy because if someone is on the A list and they piss you off, you just go and toggle "B". If they piss you off further - DELETE! It'll be super helpful, I think.