Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Look Away!

Devin subscribes to Rolling Stone. I think I've mentioned this before when I discussed my shock at noticing the sirens from The Hills gracing the magazine's cover.

What I did not mention back then was that all issues of Rolling Stone are stored on the back of our toilet. A few weekly issues gather at a time, until the pile of them becomes too unruly, at which point I throw them out and hope Devin's already had a chance to read them.

The thing about keeping them on the toilet is that there is always a face or faces staring up at me when I'm doing bathroom stuff. (This only includes brushing my teeth and styling my lovely hair. Got it?)

It's an odd feeling when I'm trying to go about my bathroom business with Bono staring back at me. I often end up flipping the magazine over because an ad for the Toyota Matrix is far less intimidating.

This week, the Rolling Stone-cover-staring-at-me-issue reached new heights with Barack Obama.


Do you see how he's just glancing downward? Peering at me? Judging me?

I feel like I'm disappointing him. And I can only imagine how it must feel for a guy, who has to look back at him the whole time he's standing over the toilet...brushing his teeth.

Here's hoping the next cover features someone I'm not so concerned about impressing. Like Will Smith or Ellen Pompeo or someone.

{Note: Yes, that is a brown shag toilet seat cover. But please don't go thinking the same think most people think when they see it, which is, "Why did they decorate their bathroom in brown?" We bought the brown shag toilet seat cover to be ironic. Or something. But there's no place for irony in the bathroom.}

15 comments:

JenBun said...

I think I would like Liv Tyler or Bon Jovi to look up at me while I'm brushing my teeth... they seem pretty non-judgmental. Plus, if Bon Jovi tried to give me any Looks while I did my hair, I could just remind him about the mullet, and put him back in his place.

fort knocks said...

Thank goodness you didn't say "a guy who has to look back at him the whole time he's standing over the toilet...peeing," because I would have been offended.

Hey, look! Barack Obama matches the toilet cover! Now someone else can be offended.

Katelin said...

i would prefer someone like miley cyrus or the jonas brothers staring at me in bathroom. i feel no need to impress them.

Phil said...

The bathroom I used in my ex-roommate's house is painted brown. Which is pretty much the worst thing EVER. I'm so glad I moved. You can use the irony as a tribute to bad choice of paint colors at my old place.

Peter said...

Irony, eh?

*Peter eyes you suspiciously.*

I kind of dislike Ellen Pompeo because she clearly doesn't eat enough. It bothers me. Is that weird? It's a little weird.

Peter said...

(Also, I resisted the urge to use my first idea for a comment. Me standing over the toilet, brushing my teeth, and saying to Will Smith, "Now you see why, in fact, I Am Legend.")

surviving myself said...

See I would enjoy Barack looking up at me like that, all smiling.

I supported him by voting for him, and now he's supporting me by approving of my size.

JenBun said...

(Me again! Peter's and Chris' comments just made me CRACK UP! Had to share. Thanks guys!)

devin said...

wow, that was a pretty racist comment from fort knocks up there.

mindy said...

I think Barack Obama is mocking your toilet seat cover. What an ass.

mindy said...

Shit, I forgot to subscribe to comments.

Ok, I feel better now.

Lizzie M said...

At my house, Barack is chilling on the ottoman in the office. I think he likes it in there.

Joy @ Big Time Fancy said...

In junior high, my friend was OBSESSED with N*Sync to the point where she covered her walls and part of her ceiling with pictures of them.

And then she felt uncomfortable changing in her room - like all the eyes were watching her. So she got dressed in the guest room that was next to hers.

brandy said...

I love that. I have the same magazine and it's in my room but I can definitely see how you would feel weird. It looks like Barack has a secret.

Hollywood Sucker said...

jenbun- Liv Tyler was almost one of the people I said. We are like sisters, you and I!

fort knocks- oh for the love...

katelin- I almost said Miley Cyrus. Between you and Jenbun, you're saying all of my least favorite celebs.

phil- Well at least someone decorates worse than I do.

Peter- I think she doesn't brush her hair enough.

Peter- Ha!

surviving- Good work helping each other out. Go team go.

devin- I think he meant it to be. Maybe?

mindy- I don't even know how to subscribe to comments.

lizzie- Yeah he's pretty content most of the time.

joy- Well at least I'm not the only one with this problem.