Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Foods I Apparently Felt Were Absolutely Necessary To Shove Into My Fat Face Today

If you ask any nutritionist, they will tell you that keeping a daily food diary is a really helpful tool to help you with dieting and eating right. No, I haven't personally asked any nutritionists about this. I don't know any. Perhaps this is a problem.

Anyway, if I kept a daily food diary, it would be called FOODS I APPARENTLY FELT WERE ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY TO SHOVE INTO MY FAT FACE TODAY

And here is what today's entry would look like:

- 1 glazed Krispy Kreme donut (Purchased separately from the dozen I picked up for the breakfast meeting at work because I wanted one right then and there.)
- M&Ms (Because it's cool for an adult to eat candy before noon.)
-1 bagel with lots of cream cheese (Because no one at the breakfast meeting knew I'd already had breakfast.)
-1/2 glazed Krispy Kreme donut (Because it was sitting there in the box with a bunch of icing clumps, looking leftover and pathetic, and I guess I found that appealing.)
-Good n' plentys
- 1 Taco Bell bean and cheese burrito (Because it was 3:30 and therefore a perfectly reasonable time to leave the office for lunch or maybe because I confused Taco Bell's 4th Meal ad campaign and thought they meant between lunch and dinner, instead of their intended late night 4th meal when you are really drunk and therefore you have an excuse for eating again.)
-1 Taco Bell cheesy fiesta potatoes
-1/2 sesame seed bagel (Consumed without cream cheese or butter or anything, mindlessly put in my mouth while I leaned on the counter talking to a coworker.)

And it's not even 6 o'clock yet.

14 comments:

Inono said...

Mmm! If it makes you feel any better, I stopped my coworker from throwing out the boxes (yes, plural) of Valentine's hearts she got, and ate those as my post-breakfast-pre-lunch-snack today. Along with a cookie.

A Lover and a Fighter said...

I didn't know there WAS such a thing as Taco Bell Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes. I wish I had some.

Peter said...

You CAN'T leave a doughnut sitting there all lonely in the box. It's just not right.

You're actually a humanitarian.

survivingmyself said...

good n plenty's??? I thought only people in the 30's ate those things.

Julie_Gong said...

I was just introduced a few months ago to the Taco Bell Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes. Oh. My. God. Love. Love. Love.

Hollywood Sucker said...

Inono- I don't know that your comment makes me feel better, so much as it makes me want a cookie.

Lover/Fighter- If you'll look below at Julie Gong's comment, you'll see that she was only recently introduced to the cheesy fiesta potatoes. The key word is introduced. I have had to point them out to at least 10 people. They hide on the menu. It's like they are so yummy the taco bell employees are trying to keep them for themselves.

Peter- I like your outlook.

survivingmyself- Actually, it's only people in the 60s. But they are tasty! And I've always been mature for my age.

julie gong- you bringing up the cheesy fiesta potatoes makes me want MORE of them. For breakfast! Convention be damned!

mindy said...

Love those damn fiesta potatoes. It really is like a party in your mouth.

percillamaymarshmellow said...

Eating at work is the worst. Sometimes people here will bring in donuts or other junk and put it on the table in the break room, which is kitty corner from the bathroom. I've noticed that every time I have to walk to the back of the office to use the bathroom I do this weird twist of my body, just to check the table for goodies. I do it on the way in AND the way out of the bathroom and when there IS a treat on the table I get butterflies! That's gross.

Nico said...

I should follow you around because now I'm hungry.

Hollywood Sucker said...

mindy- hells yeah

percilla- Two jobs ago there were like 3 different kitchens on my floor. And I always went hunting for food leftover from meetings. Once there were LITTLE SANDWICHES.

nico- Don't bother. I already ate all of the food.

nicoleantoinette said...

Have you been reading MY food diary and taking pages from it? haha

"Because no one at the breakfast meeting knew I'd already had breakfast."

Why is it ALWAYS like this?! I do the same shit, because somewhere in my "I Was Educated in Nutrition and Food Studies" mind, I still think that the only things that count are the things other people see.

What? that's why my sexy jeans don't fit? Gah.

nicoleantoinette said...

Ah! "don't bother, I already ate all the food."

You're the fucking best. Hahaha

Hollywood Sucker said...

nicole- You're too kind.
And I think we're all secret eaters. When I pick up McDonald's breakfast on the way to work...I seem to feel I need to finish it all before I arrive in the parking garage. I think I've never consumed a McMuffin in public.

nicoleantoinette said...

Yep, that's me and my late night eating. "Oh, it's past midnight? Lookey here at these delicious puffy cheetos..."