A Thursday Debate.
With many a drinking enthusiast planning to tie one on during the coming weekend, I thought it would be a good time to find out your thoughts on the Hair of the Dog idea. Does drinking more really ease a hangover? Or do you have a drinking problem?
On Sunday I was fantastically hungover. A real doozy. The kind I'd avoided having for months. I moaned, I groaned, I stumbled through the apartment. I tried all of the usual cures: Hydration, greasy food, bitching, taking a shower to wash off the residual booze and smoke stink. At one point I stood in the courtyard for 10 minutes, leaning against the gate by the pool because the cool metal and morning air felt soothing. Nothing seemed to be working.
At about 3, my friend Kristen called. She'd been out with me at the club the night before, also being really cool. After the bar, she, my sister and I had a Del Taco feast at 3 am that resulted in squished french fries all over my kitchen, lettuce all over the interior of my sister's car, and me waking up the next morning with hot sauce and refried beans still caked on to my face and fingers. She'd slept on my couch and, in true Kristen fashion, vanished quietly in the wee morning hours. Leaving a neatly folded blanket on the arm of the couch as a little message to me, "No, you didn't imagine that. I was here."
So when she called me at 3, I was surprised to hear she had already been up and about, participating, however slightly, in society. She told me that she and her boyfriend had gone out to lunch and she ordered a bloody mary. "Ah-ha" I thought to myself. Maybe that's what I should be doing. Drinking again. But here's the thing: she didn't exactly say it worked in making her feel better. And she still sounded beat up.
Later, I was having coffee and french fries (proven cures!) with my friend Amanda, when I got a text from my sister, inviting me out for healing margaritas. Never one to resist a margarita, I almost texted back something like "yay," but then stopped myself. Really? Are they healing, really? Or will I just be drunk again? You can't be two things at once. Hungry or full. Hot or Cold. Drunk or hungover (is there a 3rd option?).
It was revealed that she had left the bar Sunday night, still feeling exhausted and terrible. Healing margaritas my ass.
Doesn't seem like the Hair of the Dog theory is holding up so far, folks. And I have more examples.
I recall being on spring break in Acapulco my sophomore year of college. I was lying by the pool one afternoon, feeling like crap and shielding myself from the sunlight that seemed to be going directly through my eyes and punching my brain. I was tightly clutching a bottle of water. Though surrounded by friends, the act of communicating with them seemed too taxing. From the corner of my eye, I spotted a plastic cup full of pale beer. "Mwu mah mah wah" I heard in the muted tone of headphones not fully plugged in. "Mwu wu wah won?" I sat up straight. FOCUS. "Do you want one?" asked my friend. So I drank one, then another, then a relaxing pina colada. And then next thing I knew it was like 10pm. I'd gone from hungover, to nauseous, to hungover again.
Hangover cured? Or time wasted?
Last summer, I went camping with the boyfriend and a bunch of friends. I hate camping. And I was cold and afraid of yeti and mad ax murderer perverts. So while I sat around the campfire, I thought I better just get drunk. So I did, and woke up the next morning at 6am, right about the same time as the sun woke up and started burning into our tent and turning it into an oven. I unzipped the little door flap furiously, gasping for air, to find my cohorts already sipping bud lites and bloody marys. It seemed to be the consensus that these beverages would be just what we needed to be back on top, and also were the right way to prep ones self for a hike.
Hangover cured? Or napping on a rock at 12:30, wondering where your life went wrong?
Ok, enough of my examples here. I'm really not making myself look like a worthwhile human being. I think I've made my case. The Hair of the Dog does not cure a hangover. It's just an excuse.
So, what do you think?